I LOVE it when a plan comes together

Today is the day I resign from The Firm. I eagerly await the wailing and gnashing of teeth from my soon-to-be-former bosses. I've been practicing my sweet smile for hours. I can hardly contain my joy.

I reread an old post from a year ago, just before I started work with The Firm. It read:

And what if I don't make any friends? What if they hate me? What if no one has a sense of humor there and I have nothing to do all day but bill hours and plot the violent overthrow of the copy room staff.

Yes, yes and YES!!! Such prescience. I shoulda known from Day 1, when I saw the pitiful office coffee, that this would never work out. I shoulda run screaming on Day 3, when I was totally snubbed at lunch by my "team members". Or Day 10, when I was totally snubbed by a senior "team member" over the team "Administrative Professionals Day" gift. By day 15 said senior "team member" stabbed me in the back, from which I never recovered.

Still, I persevered. I had just completed an arduous job search and had no interest in starting a new one. And what would I say on an interview? "I'm looking for a new opportunity 3 weeks into my tenure because the folks at Highly Respected Firm aren't any fun. They suck, to be perfectly honest. I think they are intimidated by my Elite Law School Degree. The Quinnipiac Mafia is, anyway." Right. The rejection letter would be handed to me on the way out AND my parking would not be validated.

But, all is not lost. Thanks to Senior Team Member's treachery and its effects on Snotty Partner, I started a job search in January (when I could credibly say at an interview, "I gave it about a year, but Highly Respected Firm just isn't a good fit for me. The people are great, the work is great, blah blah blah, but it just isn't right for me.").

Yesterday, I accepted an offer with a firm I interviewed with last time around. (They really liked me, but it was a brand new office and they needed someone much more senior at first.) They were the first firm I asked about when I started my job search and they made me an offer I couldn't refuse.

LOTS more money. LOTS more opportunity to make partner and/or counsel and make lots more money (Thing 1's back braces aren't exactly cheap, ya know). The partners have MUCH LESS easily bruised egos and, in fact, actively foster an ESPRIT DU CORPS. No Secret Set of Office Rules that can only be gleaned from either being born unto the manor (uh, not me), or spending all day yacking in other people's offices to draw the Secret Set of Office Rules out of them (no can do. I got a life outside the office). In fact, the ONLY office rule: the flat screen TV in the conference room is ONLY to be turned on after 7:00 p.m., on baseball opening day, during any Mets game, during playoffs, and during any NCAA basketball game. (I suspect more exceptions can be added for just cause). ZERO personal injury defense. The PRESTIGE of working for a national firm. And, I'm the senior associate who gets to boss the juniors around. Hah!

I am already drunk with power.

I shall call them. . . The Firm.