Infinite monkeys typing infinite blogs will eventually predict the ending of Harry Potter

I am a sucker for all things Potter. I reserved my copies of The Deathly Hallows last September and I'm-a-counting down the days. Heck! I own the unauthorized Harry Potter Knitting Book, for goodness sakes.

And those who know me know that I will flip to the end to see who dies before I read the book -- I'm THAT kind of person.

So, when I saw on www.comcast.net that supposedly authentic spoilers were floating around the internet from people who hacked into publishers computer systems and/or made elicit digital photographs of the epilogue, well you know what I did. I'm THAT kind of person.

So here are the spoilers I learned today. I hope I don't ruin it for you:

1. Voldemort dies
2. Harry dies
3. Ron dies
4. Hermione dies
5. Snape dies
6. Percy dies
7. Bellatrix Lestrange dies
8. Lupin dies
9. Dumbledore's death is not what it appeared to be
10. Lupin and Tonks get married
11. Harry lives and marries Ginny
12. Ron lives and marries Hermione
13. Snape lives and becomes Headmaster of Hogwarts
14. McGonagle becomes Headmistress of Hogwarts
15. Harry and Ginny name a child "Severus"
16. Harry finds and uses a snappy horcrux divining device
17. Harry finds a more effective manner of disposing of horcruxes than Dumbledore ever knew
18. Draco Malfoy horcruximifies himself
19. Kreacher becomes a good house elf and helps his master find and destroy certain horcruxes
20. oh, and RAB is Regalus A. Black

I would not be surprised if some of these things actually occur in the book. But only because if you list everything that could conceivably happen, then you've got to be right about some of them. Heck! Even some of my predictions will show up in the book. (I'm betting that Stubby Boardman is really the Wand Dude from Ollivanders. . .)