I happen to be woman, hear me deconstruct

The other day, a man with whom I've had regular interaction over the last year said, "I happen to be gay." This was no shocking revelation -- he dresses exceptionally well, is in great shape, and has remained a bachelor well past marrying age. He also registers a subtle positive on gaydar, but in the era of metrosexuality one cannot assume.

But I've been preoccupied with the words he chose. If one accepts that homosexuality is an immutable characteristic, rather than a choice, then one doesn't "happen" to be gay any more than one "happens" to be female. One may happen to be a Nazi vegan seal trainer, but one is gay, mais non?

Is it a New England thing? Would it be impolite for him to proclaim his sexuality, making it necessary to soften the delivery? New Englanders can be a bit more circumspect than New Yorkers, who are, after all, Queer and [T]Here. (Guess I got used to it.)

Of course, for all of my deconstruction (which has, I am pleased to say, distracted me from work), maybe he just doesn't want his private life to be an issue in his professional life. Most people subscribe to the "I don't care what you are, as long as you don't rub it in my face or otherwise force me to acknowledge it" school of thought when it comes to homosexuality.

I happen to be bemused.