Chin Hickeys, Standardized Tests & Poor Lenten Choices

Where to begin? When I contemplated which of my lovely daughters I would have the first opportunity to aid and abet in hiding a hickey, I always envisioned Thing 1 as the culprit. Wrong again! Thing 2 sucked her lower lip and chin into a cup yesterday -- REPEATEDLY -- and now has a dark purple hickey covering her entire chin. Her lower lip was swollen so bad last night that she looked like Bubba from Forrest Gump. (It's down now. I've got pictures, but I won't post them until she's got a sense of humor about this.) So there I was, at Brooks this morning, looking for cover up and foundation to match my fair petunia's complexion. It looks very natural! Oy vey.

So, given her recent predilection toward violence and self-consciousness, we kept her out of school today so I could find an appropriate shade of make-up for her. (For those of you wondering, nothing has changed since High School -- there are no miracle cures for hickeys. I don't think claims of burning herself on a curling iron will resonate with the 3rd grade crowd.) She's got the first date of a battery of state-wide standardized tests tomorrow and we run the very real risk that someone will look at her cross-eyed and she will pitch a hissy fit and refuse to take the test. Ah! Bliss!

I chose the wrong time to give up drinking. Yes, having conquered "no chocolate for 40+ days" for the past few years, I decided to go alcohol-free this Lent. Rather than simply enjoying a glass or two of wine in the evening, I obsess over the fact that life I cannot have a glass of wine in the evening. Not unless I want to say to the Lord, "Thanks for suffering and for dying for my salvation, but I had a really tough day . . ." Would it be wrong to take up smoking? I'm feeling a tragic imbalance in my vices.