Seems we were the next victims in the string of home invasions involving purloined Pop-Tarts. Just ask Thing 3.
She was helping herself to her morning dose of Magical Barbie Fairy Kisses CloyingBerry Pop-Tarts (Mmmmmmm. Magical Barbie Fairy Kisses CloyingBerry Pop-Tarts...) She convinced me, using her most persuasive and logical argument* ("NO, MOMMY!!!! I DO IT MYSELF! I DO IT MYSELF! I DO IT MYSELF!") , to lift her to the counter so she could get them herself. I was trying to escape so I could get ready for work, but she made some dissatisfied noise that got my attention.
(I should note for the faint of heart here and/or those ready to call DCS that Team Katie was present and I was not leaving the baby on the counter without someone around to call 911 after she fell and broke her head.)
She stood there, incredulous, holding 2 half Pop-Tarts in her hands. "Someone did it," she said. You should know that "someone" does lots of things in our house. Why just this weekend, "someone" took a blue Sanford Uni-Ball Micro pen and wrote all over her hands, feet and arms.
I am dubious. "Did you break it in half, Honey?"
"No," she replies, "Someone stole the other part of the Pop-Tarts."
I take them from her. Sure enough, it is not one Pop-Tart broken in two, but two unmatching Pop-Tart pieces. This is easy to discern because Magical Barbie Fairy Kisses CloyingBerry Pop-Tarts have little pictures on them. And these featured (i) a headless Teresa and (ii) a "Barbie" banner.
"Huh," I say. Thing 3 continues, "Someone
creeped into the house when we were asleep and took the Pop-Tarts." What?! Someone (who apparently never studied for the bar)
entered into a house at night with the intent to commit a food-
felony therein?
"Are you sure someone
here didn't take the Pop-Tarts?" I ask.
"No," she demanded, "someone creeped into the house and took the Pop-Tarts."
She would not be moved, so I set upon to warn Thing 2 secretly suspecting that maybe -- just maybe -- The Hubbins creeped into the cupboard during the afternoon and took the Pop-Tarts. I was apparently wrong again.
Thing 2 said, "Uh, Mom, I think I ate them." So I asked her, "Why didn't you just eat one whole one?"
"Because I only wanted one half at first. But then when I wanted more, I didn't want to reach
all the way down to get the second half."
Ugh. Back when I was her age, we didn't have Magical Barbie Fairy Kisses CloyingBerry Pop-Tarts. They came in 2 flavors: tripe and wintergreen. And my parents never bought them for us anyway. We had those puffed rice things. And no sugar cereals, either.
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**Thing 3's second most persuasive argument goes like this, "I will ask Daddy and he will say yes." Third most persuasive, "I'm not talking to you, Mommy. I'm talking to Daddy." Seriously, we gots to get this girl to get with the program, but it is so freaking cute.
