Friday, April 17, 2009

Important information

I could survive for 54 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

Thursday, April 16, 2009

I'm ready for my close-up

Trust me. I'm a lawyer.

These are the full-length shots. I think I chose top row, second from right. I'm all bright hair and no facial features. Also, it is hard to see, but the jacket really is green.

Thing 3 wants to type something ... 2to grandma

Monday, April 13, 2009

Meet the New Boss...Same as the Old Boss

I survived my first full week at the new and improved The Firm, which included surviving my photo shoot and learning the mind-bogglingly large number of forms I will have to fill out just to requisition a paperclip. I can assign my secretary to fill those out, so I suppose it is worth the non-indictable managing partner. I did not get to strike a pose for my portrait and my only prop was my glasses, which gave my hands something to do other than hanging by my sides.

I hate my pictures, but because I am a masochist I will probably post them -- I scanned my proofs so you will all get to enjoy just how orange my hair looks even though I am sure it doesn't look THAT orange in real life. (The Hubbins begs to differ.) And I look HUGE. And my chin is shining. And I forgot to bring my make up to the photographer's, so I have a regular, every day thickness of war paint, rather than a photo studio lighting-ready layer of war paint (a wee bit washed out).

I have never been (or at least not for the last 20 years) one of those women who picks apart how she looks. Up until the last 20 pounds, I've always liked how I photograph. But now it is just a sad reminder of how big my ass has become.

Why not exercise and get my shit together, you ask? Because I bill 2300 hrs per year and have for the last 2 years. So, my choices are to give up sleep, give up knitting, give up TV, or give up exercise. Fortunately or otherwise, I tend to give them up in the reverse order. And it doesn't help that every time I start exercising again, I screw up my back or neck.

Last year, I started taking yoga and doing exercise videos. Then I spent 12 weeks in PT and found I had herniated 2 disks in my cervical spine (not from the exercising, from ancient whiplash injury). This year, I ran about 4 times in one week, then fell off a chair I was standing on to dust some high ledges in my office. I'm starting to feel human again. So, obviously, I'm becoming insanely busy at work. Again.

So....Liz: Is any of this funny? Are you ROTFLOL yet?

Famous quotes:
"This is the last time we are going to live today." Thing 1, 4/11/09
"In a way, we are all like a bunch of elevators." Thing 2, 4/11/09, in response to Thing 1.

"Our beach is closed on my birthday [July 3], so we have to go to '1-800-Beaches'." Thing 3, 4/10/09